Places Brett Farve Won't be this year

1) San Francisco
2) Denver

These first two really don't matter because they were just going to be Aaron Rodgers games anyways because Brett really shouldn't play more than the first quarter of both games. We all know that these games are really for the next Matt Hasselbeck to gain a spot on the roster as the 3rd string QB.


3)Detroit
4)Tampa Bay
5)Seattle
6)Tennessee
7)Minnesota
8)New Orleans
9)Jacksonville
10)Chicago

At least now when 83 reads stats to me, they won't be as impressive because they will be from Aaron "I'm such an arrogant asshat that I have two a's in my name" Rodgers.
Bears
Welcome to life with quarterback uncertainty. I know you haven't felt in a while. Its like a recently divorced man in his 30's going out the bars as a single man for the first time since he was 26 and he met that random whore that ended up giving him two children, a bad back and a bad case of the "I want the last 8 years of my life back" This isn't a Berenstein book for the entire family. Its hungover and miserable. It often doesn't shave for days at a time. It features numerous trips to clubs of ill repute. Then whenever your friends take pity on you, they preface any time out with little lectures like this one



So Packers fans. Buck up and be a man, because this year, this year you might cry. Not in happiness, not in sadness, but in frustration. But don't worry, this Bills fan has plenty of tips on how to occupy this idle weekends in Jan. where your team should be in the playoffs but instead you get to mope around the house, looking for meaning.

Good luck

Fun Fallible Fact about David Ortiz

did you know that... David Ortiz and I have the same slugging percentage so far this season?

Wait, his slugging percentage really is zero?

Rut-roh!

Kansas wins!

Billy Packer heard exhaling noisily.

Whew, quite the wild ride it's been. Cinderella was eventually beaten (those Nike commercials aren't very nice, are they?) and for once, all the number one seeds made it the Final Four. A quick run through the ESPN brackets shows that there are no perfect brackets. Again.

Do you think that if Baron Davis shaved his beard his production would go down because opposing players would be less intimidated ?

I was watching a Rockets game and I saw someone I haven't seen in a while on the court. Mutumbo. My buddy commented that he's gotta be like 50, to which I replied something to the effect that its actually more like 70 years old because he's gotta deal with strife, famine and AIDS. Just like Kurt Warner is actually younger in spirit than he legally is because he's been a bible thumper for all those years and never had booze or drugs to age him so the fact that he's in his mid 30's and playing football is no miracle. Its science

Oh Syracuse.....

You ever hear the joke that goes as follows ?

"Hey whats better than winning the Special Olympics ?"
You kinda groan and know that a not so politically correct joke is about to explode out and you quickly check the 270 degrees of vision that you are responsible for and utter "What?"
"Not being in the Special Olympics...."

The laughter from the joke teller keeps going until some jackass says "Hey my cousin is retarded" Or if they aren't just trying to fuck with you they actually have a cousin who could compete in the S.O. they say "Hey my cousin is mentally challenged"

Anyways now that everyone has flashed back to that moment in their lives....

Whats better than winning the NIT tournament ? Being invited to the NCAA big dance. Thats right Syracuse University.... You might have been given the number one seed in the NIT tournament but you failed to make the big dance. Its like a girl telling you that you are her best friend, but not quite boyfriend material. However the guy who hasn't had a job in two months outside of dealing cocaine from his living room.... he's the genetic material you'd like to merge with yours to create a child in the future....

I'm still going to root for you, as I always have and always will. Its genetic destiny because my grandparents met at that college before the war. Thats right I'm fucking old school alumni. Then again I cashed in on that check by going to a state school that's claim to fame included an all day drinking event on the last day of classes and a hockey team that, after winning the DIII championship last year failed to make the big dance this year.

Wocka Wocka Wocka Wocka....BBBLLLLIIIIINNNNNGGGG

So apparently teams in the NFL are hell bent on showing us that in their eyes if you can cover a solid number one WR then you'll always have a place on an NFL team.

According to NFL sources, there are upwards of SEVEN NFL franchises that are in some level of pursuit for scandalous and OG gangstarific Tennessee CB, Adam "Pacman" Jones.  Seven franchises?  Like more than zero?

The fact that teams are still interested in a guy who has been in contact with various local police departments more than Ted Bundy post-prison break is disturbing to say the least.  Especially given the fact that it wasnt until the season before this past that he was thought to be worth anything.  With a name like Pacman you expect a guy to receive his fair share of hype coming out of college but for the early part of his career he was more "Dig Dug" than Pacman.  But still after a fairly effective 2006 season and numerous scrapes with the law we are to believe Pac has changed.

Pac got love fo da game now.

Pac knows he shouldnt have made it rain in a strip club...

Pac dont keep his dollas in trash bags no mo'

Pac needs to get a life, a new occupation and multiple slaps in the head.  Of course the only thing he will actually get is a multimillion dollar contract in Oakland or Dallas and a spot next to Rae Carruth, Tank Johnson, Leonard Little and Ray Lewis in the NFL scumbag Hall of Fame.  Congrats Pac....here's youre orange jumpsuit...

The NBA and KIA

I found it a bit ironic that KIA is the official sponsor of the NBA. Doesn't Kia make the smallest cars around ? Doesn't the NBA employ unusually tall people ? Besides Spud Webb, there really isn't a lot players who could fit into a KIA with any comfort or at all. Its like Hummer sponsoring the Little People of America (or LPA to those of you who belong ). It just doesn't make sense.

Unless....