The city of Toronto has been trying for the past few seasons to show that it can support an NFL franchise and get a (real) football team of their own. They have recently succeeded, with the Buffalo Bills having provided a helping hand. For any sports franchise it's a good thing to broaden their fanbase, so for the Bills to play a few games in Canada is a smart move. They're also getting a fat chunk of change in exchange for playing 8 games in Toronto; $78 million dollars to be exact. While this is Canadian money, George Bush has been kind enough to weaken the dollar (and kill off a great joke) so this is roughly $78 million US dollars as well. Some games will be pre-season, and others will be regular season. For example this upcoming season the Bills are playing a pre-season and a regular-season game in Toronto. The per-game payout works out to about 9.75 million dollars per game, which is a lot more per game than the Bills make playing at the Ralph.
It's no secret that the future of the Bills franchise is up in the air. Ralph Wilson will not be leaving the franchise to his children as inheriting it would bankrupt them thanks to our tax laws. Also, Ralph will not sell the franchise while he is still alive. So, when Ralph goes...the Bills may as well. Thankfully the guy has shown a Montgomery Burns-like ability to live forever, so I'm not worried. Yet.
However, this little adventure north of the border leaves me a little nervous about the future of my favorite team. But if there ever was a city that knew how to love a team no matter what, it's Toronto, home of the Maple Leafs.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Packers fans won't have to quit Favre, life for another season
John Madden's favorite QB in the entire world, Favre, has been named the cover boy of Madden 2009. This is interesting for a few reasons:
- Favre is retired. Will he be in the game? Will he retire right when you try and start training camp? If Aaron Rodgers (accidentally) gets fucking killed in a pre-season game, will Favre unretire? An entire state waits for these answers, sausage in one hand and beer in the other hand, paralyzed by the anticipation.
- Will Favre still have to worry about the Curse? I know Favre likes mowing his lawn, so maybe he should hire someone to do this year. Just in case.
- Will Packers fans be able to open the game, or will they just stare at the cover, getting lost in Brett's eyes?
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Bills had a decent draft. They played the percentages and picked up a CB in McKelvin and waited until the second round to pick up a WR. They addressed their TE needs, randomly picked up two more CB and a smittering of other players who are insurance/experiment picks.
Odd move of the draft for me so far is the Packers taking two quarterbacks. I can see taking one, but taking two is just stupid. You basically said to your starting quarterback, good luck and don't fuck up.
Odd move of the draft for me so far is the Packers taking two quarterbacks. I can see taking one, but taking two is just stupid. You basically said to your starting quarterback, good luck and don't fuck up.
Draft Bukkake
The draft is almost over, so a couple of quick blows before I try and wrap my head around the whole thing tomorrow:
Dolphins: Drafted a lineman! Seeing as their line could best be described as 'a point of serious concern' drafting a stud lineman is a safe bet. They also drafted Chad Henne, which means the John Beck era might be coming to a close. Chad has a few knocks against him, one of which is being a bit 'statuesque' in the pocket. Good thing they drafted Long. They're still going to suck next year though.
Falcons: Drafted a quarterback! And he loves dogs! Yay! The Falcons need a lot of help, but Matt Ryan will at least have a decent running back in Turner to help him get acclimated to the NFL, and by that I mean getting his ass kicked for 16 weeks. Atlanta's lack of receivers has been well documented, and combined with Ryan's almost Favre-esque ability to put passes right between the numbers of opposing defenders this will be a long season for Atlanta.
Patriots: Drafted a linebacker! And he's under 35! Yay! Patriots fans cheered lustily, then started booing when they found out he was another one of those damn dahkies. The Pats roster is going to be almost half dahkie at the rate they're going! Patriots fans found happiness in the 3rd round, when the Patriots drafted Kevin O'Connell from San Diego State. The name alone will grant him demi-god status in the greater Boston area, and the fact that he's, you know, sorta good will help the Patriots run up the score while still putting in their backups. Everyone wins! Except the Dolphins. They're still gonna get raped this season.
Bills: Drafted a cornerback! Yay! He will be the next in a long line of first-round cornerbacks that come to Buffalo, get really good, and then leave for bigger and better things (mainly bags of money) once their rookie contract is up. The legacy also includes leaving AFC East receivers so open you could land a plane on the field around them. But we'll leave that for the regular season.
And hey, they got one of those wide receiver dudes to help out. James Hardy is tall, fast, and can jump really high, which are all good things. He also has character issues, stemming from an incident where he slapped around his girlfriend and their kid. He would have fit right in with Randy Moss and the Patriots, but hey, the Bills will take him and hopefully go to middle of the pack with their red zone offense. Yeah, they'll run a ton of fades to the back corner with him, but I can live with that as long as they throw out the 3rd-and-goal shovel passes.
Dolphins: Drafted a lineman! Seeing as their line could best be described as 'a point of serious concern' drafting a stud lineman is a safe bet. They also drafted Chad Henne, which means the John Beck era might be coming to a close. Chad has a few knocks against him, one of which is being a bit 'statuesque' in the pocket. Good thing they drafted Long. They're still going to suck next year though.
Falcons: Drafted a quarterback! And he loves dogs! Yay! The Falcons need a lot of help, but Matt Ryan will at least have a decent running back in Turner to help him get acclimated to the NFL, and by that I mean getting his ass kicked for 16 weeks. Atlanta's lack of receivers has been well documented, and combined with Ryan's almost Favre-esque ability to put passes right between the numbers of opposing defenders this will be a long season for Atlanta.
Patriots: Drafted a linebacker! And he's under 35! Yay! Patriots fans cheered lustily, then started booing when they found out he was another one of those damn dahkies. The Pats roster is going to be almost half dahkie at the rate they're going! Patriots fans found happiness in the 3rd round, when the Patriots drafted Kevin O'Connell from San Diego State. The name alone will grant him demi-god status in the greater Boston area, and the fact that he's, you know, sorta good will help the Patriots run up the score while still putting in their backups. Everyone wins! Except the Dolphins. They're still gonna get raped this season.
Bills: Drafted a cornerback! Yay! He will be the next in a long line of first-round cornerbacks that come to Buffalo, get really good, and then leave for bigger and better things (mainly bags of money) once their rookie contract is up. The legacy also includes leaving AFC East receivers so open you could land a plane on the field around them. But we'll leave that for the regular season.
And hey, they got one of those wide receiver dudes to help out. James Hardy is tall, fast, and can jump really high, which are all good things. He also has character issues, stemming from an incident where he slapped around his girlfriend and their kid. He would have fit right in with Randy Moss and the Patriots, but hey, the Bills will take him and hopefully go to middle of the pack with their red zone offense. Yeah, they'll run a ton of fades to the back corner with him, but I can live with that as long as they throw out the 3rd-and-goal shovel passes.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Denizens of Dallas feverishly working on ark, dams
Yes, that's right folks! Adam 'Pacman' Jones, aka The Rainmaker has been traded from the Titans to the Dallas Cowboys. Of course Pacman hasn't even been reinstated by the NFL yet, so the Cowboys may have just traded for a guy who won't even play next year. Normally I'd give a slow, sarcastic clap for such a brilliant trade, but I remembered they also traded for the rights to Drew Henson and we all know how well that worked out.
Regardless, Pacman Jones is a game-changing talent, both as a corner and a punt returner. If he does in fact return this season and is in game shape, his addition will most likely turn Big D into the odds-on favorite to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl, mainly due to the losses the Giants have sustained.
The interesting part will be when Pacman goes to get his game checks. While the front office encourages direct deposit, my guess is Pacman will want it in singles stuffed in a Hefty bag.
Regardless, Pacman Jones is a game-changing talent, both as a corner and a punt returner. If he does in fact return this season and is in game shape, his addition will most likely turn Big D into the odds-on favorite to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl, mainly due to the losses the Giants have sustained.
The interesting part will be when Pacman goes to get his game checks. While the front office encourages direct deposit, my guess is Pacman will want it in singles stuffed in a Hefty bag.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Places Brett Farve Won't be this year
1) San Francisco
2) Denver
These first two really don't matter because they were just going to be Aaron Rodgers games anyways because Brett really shouldn't play more than the first quarter of both games. We all know that these games are really for the next Matt Hasselbeck to gain a spot on the roster as the 3rd string QB.
3)Detroit
4)Tampa Bay
5)Seattle
6)Tennessee
7)Minnesota
8)New Orleans
9)Jacksonville
10)Chicago
At least now when 83 reads stats to me, they won't be as impressive because they will be from Aaron "I'm such an arrogant asshat that I have two a's in my name" Rodgers.
Bears
Welcome to life with quarterback uncertainty. I know you haven't felt in a while. Its like a recently divorced man in his 30's going out the bars as a single man for the first time since he was 26 and he met that random whore that ended up giving him two children, a bad back and a bad case of the "I want the last 8 years of my life back" This isn't a Berenstein book for the entire family. Its hungover and miserable. It often doesn't shave for days at a time. It features numerous trips to clubs of ill repute. Then whenever your friends take pity on you, they preface any time out with little lectures like this one
So Packers fans. Buck up and be a man, because this year, this year you might cry. Not in happiness, not in sadness, but in frustration. But don't worry, this Bills fan has plenty of tips on how to occupy this idle weekends in Jan. where your team should be in the playoffs but instead you get to mope around the house, looking for meaning.
Good luck
2) Denver
These first two really don't matter because they were just going to be Aaron Rodgers games anyways because Brett really shouldn't play more than the first quarter of both games. We all know that these games are really for the next Matt Hasselbeck to gain a spot on the roster as the 3rd string QB.
3)Detroit
4)Tampa Bay
5)Seattle
6)Tennessee
7)Minnesota
8)New Orleans
9)Jacksonville
10)Chicago
At least now when 83 reads stats to me, they won't be as impressive because they will be from Aaron "I'm such an arrogant asshat that I have two a's in my name" Rodgers.
Bears
Welcome to life with quarterback uncertainty. I know you haven't felt in a while. Its like a recently divorced man in his 30's going out the bars as a single man for the first time since he was 26 and he met that random whore that ended up giving him two children, a bad back and a bad case of the "I want the last 8 years of my life back" This isn't a Berenstein book for the entire family. Its hungover and miserable. It often doesn't shave for days at a time. It features numerous trips to clubs of ill repute. Then whenever your friends take pity on you, they preface any time out with little lectures like this one
So Packers fans. Buck up and be a man, because this year, this year you might cry. Not in happiness, not in sadness, but in frustration. But don't worry, this Bills fan has plenty of tips on how to occupy this idle weekends in Jan. where your team should be in the playoffs but instead you get to mope around the house, looking for meaning.
Good luck
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Fun Fallible Fact about David Ortiz
did you know that... David Ortiz and I have the same slugging percentage so far this season?
Wait, his slugging percentage really is zero?
Rut-roh!
Wait, his slugging percentage really is zero?
Rut-roh!
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