Sorry to get your hopes up, but this is not Jenaveve Jolie and Eva Angelina making a sex sandwich out of you. What kind of fantasy is that anyway? Them doing that to me, that's a fantasy. Doing it to you? Lame.
No, this is about the huge uproar in the fantasy football world caused by this weekends sucktacular performances by several regular season warriors. Tom Brady? Crap. Randy Moss? Not much better. Tony Romo? Distracted by Jessica shaking her tits. Dallas Clark? Squadoosh! Derek Anderson? Played in a blizzard so fierce Braylon Edwards and Joe Jurevicius looked the same. Now that I think about it, that does explain how Joe caught the tipped pass...
I could go on, but I'm sure one of your friends has bitched about how someone who had been a stud all season shit the bed at the worst possible time. One of my coworkers griped about it a little bit. I didn't though.
You know why? Because my team fucking rocks, that's why!
Yes, I am that asshole that has Tom Brady and Randy Moss. Brett Farve? Yeah, he's my backup.
I gotta say it's been a lot of fun. I'll be down 50 going into a Sunday night game and *whomp* suddenly I'm up by 30. I always hated that guy, but I gotta say now that I'm him, the view from the top is fantastic! You can see everyone, even that guy who drafted LT! I've spent the entire season skull-fucking the shit out of everyone else in my league. Three times I've cracked 190 points. I've spent the entire season on top of the rest of my league (or "pitching" if you will).
While I was a little disappointed about Tom's performance against the Jets, I'm pretty sure Miami will be what we like to call a 'rebound' performance for him. And if he doesn't, I'll just go back to hating him and his butt-chin.
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